I can safely say that at least once or twice a week someone asks me
how old I am. Never does a bartender hand me a drink without
meticulously scouring my ID for any sign of alteration. “Yes,” I always
say, “I know I look young.” Not too long ago a woman yelled at me from
the side of the road exclaiming, “You’re too young to drive!” Some may
say this is a quality to be grateful for, but after years of having to
prove that I am, in fact, an adult, I’m kind of over it. That was, until
today.
Finn and I have a game tomorrow in the lovely city of Dallas. Our flight
was this morning at the perfect hour of 10:40am. Nothing beats a flight
that allows for a normal night of sleep and gets you to your
destination before all of the restaurants have closed for the evening.
Like any normal traveler, we checked in and then made our way to the
ginormous security line. I opted to not use my Clear Pass because I am
just that nice and didn’t want Finn to stand in line alone. Thank god I
did because the interaction we had with the TSA regulator was well worth
it.
Upon reaching the front of the line, I handed my ID and boarding pass to
the little, middle-aged man who was checking them carefully. He peeked
at my ID and handed it back, and then reached for Finn’s and took a look
at it. After supposedly reading the names and supposedly
matching the IDs and the boarding passes, he looked at Finn and asked
innocently, “Is that your daughter?” This was followed by hysterical
laughter and no answer from either Finn or me.
I mean, come on! Not only do we have entirely different names, but our
coloring is stark opposite. Finn is blond with blue eyes (See Figure A).
I have brown hair and hazel eyes (See Figure B). We couldn’t be more
different. AND, we are CLEARLY not that far apart in age. I guess if the
man thought Finn was way older than he is and I way younger, it could
have been plausible, but it was a giant stretch.
After laughing it off, we decided that we should just go with it. I have
since been calling Finn “Dad” and I have been deemed “Pumpkin.” We
purposefully have been using these titles as much as possible to get
reactions out of people. So far, no one is noticing. The flight
attendant paid zero attention to my complaint about Dad embarrassing me,
and the dude at reception didn’t even flinch when Finn said he was
disappointed that I didn’t keep the last name “Kelly” and instead took
my scummy rehab-bound husband’s last name. Our next plan is for Finn to
start the introduction to our game by saying, “I’m Finn and this is my
daughter, Roxy.” Surely we’ll get some looks and hopefully some
noteworthy commentary. Or not. At least we’re entertaining ourselves.
Figure A:
Figure B:




